Dreams Unrealised

“Rise high, higher than the sky;
Shine bright, brighter than the sun;”

One’s dream is boundless. So is mine. Life keep going dreams keep coming; few realized; many dies with time; but some remain rooted deep into the heart that they even become stronger than their creator himself. Sometimes I hate giving up but I hate more looking back at the dreams which I have given up.

Being an introvert person, I don’t share my dreams to anyone, not even to the God. In fact this is the first instance in am talking about my dreams.

Started with the dream to fly high in the sky, dream of becoming a fighter pilot. Bedtime used to ask my mother what I should do to become a pilot. She said to become a pilot you have to do big calculations in your head. Then my interest for mathematics started even though I was never good at it.

Prepared for NDA. But motivation & encouragement was lacking. I didn’t even make an attempt. But nothing in life can quench the thirst of soaring high into the sky.

In class IX, I suddenly got a strong interest to Mathematics. I did give maximum effort on it. Did learn many things and started dreaming of becoming a great mathematician, someone like Aryabhatta, Ramanujan, Euler etc. But my academic improvement was only on Mathematics related subjects. I remained very weak in literature & allied subjects, where I need more of writing skills than knowledge.

After X another big dream came, dream of getting into IIT. It became the top priority & my ultimate aim. 2 years, I was almost a book worm, caring little about the world outside and the world around. But couldn't get through in first attempt. Wanted to go for coaching class & try again.

2001, XII exams results came much below the expectation. Score was not enough to get into REC (now NIT). Only few options remained one mom’s choice, go for engineering and other my choice; go for further studies in Mathematics. The latter was ruled out as job prospect is less.

Result of Engineering Entrance exams came good, got the branch of my choice as well as the place. But heart was not willing to take it. Wanted to take risk by spending one year in IIT preparation. I tried to convince my mother telling that my score was very good even without any coaching class . I can get through it if I go for a coaching. But mommy was not ready. She was too stubborn and knew how to convince me. She gave financial reason as one reason. I was not ready to give up. Took all the IIT entrance exams books to Coimbatore, where I got the seat for Computer Science Engineering. But couldn’t maintain gave effort to it because of the hectic schedule of college and the new hostel environment.

Then started the fours years of College life, a life in a new world. Realized many of my weakness, learn many lessons of life.

The dreams of getting into the premier institution of the country remained then. Started buying GATE books in first year. My efforts were not up to the mark. Finally after making 2 unsuccessful attempts to GATE exam, I gave up my long dream. But I 'll never feel regret about it later in my life because I tried for it.

Those were my academic related dreams. I call them ambitious dreams. I do have some realistic dreams too.

I have a dream to meet the greatest creation of mankind, the great Pyramid. Nothing fascinates me more than it. I am sure I will be there at least once before my body turn into ashes. Don’t remember exactly when this fascination started, perhaps longer than I can remember. Among friends sometimes we talk about our Honeymoon, some says Kashmir; some says Goa; someone likes Switzerland; for some it’s their sweet homeland but mine is always Egypt, where some lifeless stones are waiting for me for thousands of years.

I dream of being at the highest point on this earth, need not be the Mount Everest (I am too weak to climb it). A place where every creature on the earth can see me and I can see evryone. I believe God did not think about it when he created the Universe. So I 'll create the place myself and I 'll be there one day. I call this a poetic engineer’s dream.

Well only these much in this sleepy afternoon after a heavy lunch (2 aloo parothas ), when boss is on leave, no friends online and can’t remember any good website to browse. I hope readers will appreciate my sincere effort to control my sleep and unfaithful advantage of my boss’s absence.

As always comments are always welcome.